S4 E2: New years Eve is not a magic spell

Hannah  1:12 

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back. Happy New Years to everybody we are entering 2021 and today, you are listening to refreshingly human, a podcast that is all about share experiences, human connections and finding that line of humanity. We always try to focus on what makes us so different from each other. But there is that line of humanity that connects us all. And I hope by connecting with other people’s stories, we find the human connections. So, guys this season, I am focusing on 2020 as the year, you know, I think that a lot of people might be feeling a bit, demotivated at the end of 2020, or maybe very stressed, very eager to restart, and recharge. So yes, we are going to recharge and re energize for 2021. And I’m going to be just walking you through my, in this episode, what 2020 was like for me, and just my general thoughts on the whole concept of New Year’s, you know, I think we put a lot of stress on New Years, we kind of like, I don’t know, I feel like people tend to think that in the new year, we just going to magically leave everything behind. But you know what, Reality Check guys? Things follow us wherever we go. Right? I mean, there’s an episode coming up with Lee Hopkins, who is such an amazing guy. And I’m so excited about that episode. But in that episode, Lee and I, we talk about how we try to move away, and kind of like run away from a problem. But it follows us if we don’t if we don’t vote, like if we don’t try to change things, if we don’t try to acknowledge a problem. If we don’t try to solve a problem, it follows us wherever we go. So just like that, with 2020 going on to 2021 things are going to follow us if we don’t process them, right. So there’s no magic spell here. You know, it’s just it’s not like this whole new year new you kind of a magic spell. It’s still a work in progress, right. But there are benefits to New Years. There are benefits to having that mark between year end and year beginning. And personally for me, the older I got, the more ambitious I become. New Year’s is kind of like a year end reflection. You know, like, for example, in business, we always have like, year end and a financial year. And this is when we kind of reflect on how well the business has done. And similarly, that’s what I do at the end of my year with myself like how well have I done this year? What have I achieved this year? And what do I hope the next year is going to bring me now I know this kind of sounds like traditional New Year’s goals, right? But I will say that mine gets a lot more specific and a lot more visual. And one thing I’m trying out this year is vision boards. It’s just been all over my social media. So I guess I’ve just been a bit indoctrinated towards them. But you know what? I put up my vision board about a week ago now. And this is such an interesting story, guys. So I put up my vision board and I actually was listening to Lilly Singh’s YouTube video where she describes how she does her vision boards and in her book as well, which I have read, cover to cover page for page. Word for word, sorry. Yeah, in her book is all she talks about the power of vision boards and vision of envisioning things as well. And actually, there’s an episode coming up with a Holly, where she talks about how visualization helps her. And that’s really interesting, guys, I’m looking forward to that one too, coming up in the season. But back to my vision board. So Lilly Singh, she says that we need to

try and challenge ourselves with these vision boards, right? So Megan, put some realistic things for sure. That’s absolutely helpful. But also put something on there that you think is impossible, or you think is really hard to achieve. And guys, I’ve done that. And I promise you what happened when I did that was the first reaction was kind of like, eek, this is scary, and looking at the board was causing me anxiety. And it was causing me stress when I first put it up, because I was like, these are big goals, man. And then I put the board up in my office, and I look at it every day. And what I found within the first, just the first week of having it there is that it actually helped to keep me focused. So it’s like every time I’m staring at this board, and I’m just thinking to myself, What am I doing today to get me to these things? What have I done today to get me to these things. And it’s such an amazing way to stay focused on your goals. You know, before this, I had a vision board for my weight goals. And actually just I removed that one, and I replaced it with the 2021 vision board should actually think I should put a date on it. I have not needed to put a date up on my vision board. But yeah, I had previous to this, I had the weight loss one where I had pictures of myself at various different weights, I had a picture of a friend who had achieved the weight that I wanted to be at. I had her at the center of my board as my inspiration. And guess what, guys, I’ve made it you know, if you’ve listened to all my podcasts ever since I’ve made it to my goal weight, I’ve been maintaining it. And you know what, I had cold pizza for breakfast this morning. And I did not feel bad about it. Because I am so mindful about how to eat and what to eat and about my choices that I know I can maintain this weight. Even if I had cold pizza for breakfast, not an entire pizza, by the way. Any whose? Yeah, so that is just what I do. So we our vision boards is something new for me this year. And just keeping track. And I think I spoke in my last episode with Ian about how another thing about keeping track of your years, like your reflections of your years is that you can go back and compare them. You can see where you’ve come, you can see where you going. It’s just so cool to have everything written down and to see how you’re growing. You know, I just Yeah, I just think that there is so much value to finding a way to wrap up the that works for you. Right. And also just remembering that we just don’t magically leave things behind. It doesn’t work like that.

Daniel  8:16 

Hi, my name is Daniel. And I’m 25 years old. And I live in Seattle, Washington. And I just kind of want to share a little bit about 20 21st off, honestly, thank you so much for this opportunity. And yeah, so in short, that’s it this year has been interesting. My family, myself, my friend, we’re all healthy, we’re protected, we’re safe. And I’m glad that that is the case, because I value family and friendships. Very important. But for me personally, I’d say 2020 has been interesting to say the least. The reason I say that is I run a online music publication, and event series called called the wandering near space out of Seattle. Essentially, we write about how music makes you feel and how to attach to a certain moment or feeling kind of like a musical time capsule in a way. And so, the I’d say that the hard part of that to say that is that I had four concerts planned up, and I was super excited because I had I had I had a concert on March 12. And I had a concert on on Friday the 13th and then like two in April. And oddly what happened and this will kind of tie in towards the end of my thing. Is the timing of of those contracts were not good. There isn’t been is that Washington had just got in, like the first early cases of COVID. And the governor was slowly closing stuff down. And so so basically, the day before the governor put out this rule that you can have a lot of people like a large gathering. And so I was contemplating to throw the show, but I decided to cancel, and then had to cancel the ones in April as well. But on April, I had a friend from Montreal in Marseille, who’s an artist, which is really cool. She was going to come and perform in Seattle, and had had everything booked. And this was booked months before COVID happened. But, you know, COVID happens, I couldn’t do those. And at first, I was mad, I was angry, and I was like, What the heck, but in a weird way, it has helped me grow this project far more than I needed to, and I think far more than it would have grown, had I had COVID not happen. And I say that to say not because COVID like, because I’m cloud COVID happen. You know, that’s not the case. Yeah, like, I put my family’s in healthcare and all that stuff. So dealing with that, and seeing it, like, in my face is is is insane, to say the least. But in terms of like, my project in my, in my, like, in my dreams and like aspirations they’ve grown. This, the wander near has been, has been fortunate enough to have grown a lot. You know, we’ve, we’ve interviewed over 26 artists, written over like 50 articles since March up until now, I’ve grown my team from just myself two to three other people.

We’ve done a radio show that we have, we have a podcast that we started last year, I’ve continued, I threw like a two day zoom event, with like nine artists from five different locations in five different time zones in less than a week. Like, I’ve done a lot of stuff. Our traffic on our site has grown tremendously, like we’ve, we’ve also had been in the position to like, give and donate, like mass to some people, and stickers and things like that to kind of help out our, you know, our fellow people, right. And so yeah, it The, the timing could not have happened anymore. And I think the reason I say that is because I i function in this idea of of a heightened state of chaos, like when things are not going the way that they should be going, that is when I am at my best because it it forces me to innovate. And the wandering here as we are, we are innovating as we speak, I’m figuring out different ways to push content and figure out different ways to engage with my community, and just figuring out ways to push this idea of just helping others experience music and meaningful ways. And, and just, you know, figuring out, how can I produce content to get to people? So yeah, that’s just kind of what we’re doing. Going back to, to what I said about timing, and my dreams and aspirations is my is my dream is that I is that I want to go the entrepreneur to like this big, you know, like company where we’re, we’re, you know, interviewing different artists, we have a podcast, we have content, we have, you know, an engaging community of people that are around us that are helping us and all that stuff. Like, the overall idea of My dream is to bring everybody that is around me, with me to like, basically make this happen. And so timing, as in with dreams is last year was a tough year, I’d say. Because like I had just finished, like, leaving my job and working my parents, and also trying to pursue the laundry near as well and pursue other things. And I was just mad. But unfortunately, during this COVID time, and during all this time I’ve I’ve realized my dream, they operate on this idea of I don’t know the alternative of what I want to do. And by that I mean picture this, right? So everything’s said and done and you have the opportunity to see your life in two different perspectives, right, like a or b, right. You could have gone this route, but maybe we want this route. This this this this, this, this and this, this could have happened or the other way around. You go this route. This this this This or this could have happened. But at the present time that we’re in, right, the second that I’m recording this and talking to you guys all, I don’t know the alternative of what’s going to happen. So I, so I operate on the idea of trusting my gut, by intuition and timing and serendipity. Because timing and serendipity are huge in my life, and I could go on for for a long time. But essentially, it boils down to the idea of that. There, there’s, there’s there is only in a plan A, or plan B, there’s not a Plan C, you can have hazard, your your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, like you either go this way, or you don’t do it. And I would rather take the risk and take the chance of following what I want to do.

Over not doing it, because like I said, I don’t know the alternative. And also, I would hate to live a life where I said, we’re, we’re when everything’s done, and I’m like, Oh, I could have done this. I could have done that. Right. Unfortunately, in the time of my life that I have, God will in many, many, many years ahead of me. So even if so even if what I’m doing now does not work out, I still have, like, three other quarters of my life to continue. Right? So like, the idea of your goals and following your dreams is it’s important. And me, and it’s not to say that, like, you know, like everybody has their own tolerance when it comes to what they want to do. Right? Some people just just like quit everything and go full force others to take steps. So you as a person need to know, I, I guess I’m kind of in the middle of some like depends, right? Most of the time, I’ve just quit everything. And I just have gone for it. And it always works out. But yeah, anyway, that’s just all I kind of want to say. But if you want, you can follow the wander near. And that’s th e w a n d, e, r n, g, e a r, we have a website. So Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all of those. This is where you can follow us on that. You can also follow me personally, at Danny ma via da NNY. Ma tha on Instagram, and Twitter as well. I’m not on Facebook. Yeah. But anyway, thank you so much for this opportunity. Thank you for listening to me. And I hope that you hope you follow your dreams and hope that you live a life as if you can’t live it anymore. So thank you.

Hannah  18:05 

Now, I want to talk about this year 2020. And what it was like for me, but also I want to, I want you as you know, as an individual to think about what 2020 was like, for you personally, you know, we at the end of the beginning of the new year, we planning new things. So let’s just take a minute and just think about what, what Where were you in 2020. You know, like, I know, I always say there’s this line of humanity, we all connect, we all want similar things in life. You know, there’s a very human part of all of us. But part of that human journey is also knowing that we are all in different stages of our lives. We are all in different phases of our lives. I was actually thinking about this this morning, right? I was watching new girl. Like I always binge watch TV series all the time. It’s like I love I love binge watching. And I was actually thinking like, series like new go and friends and How I Met Your Mother, which I know there’s a lot of haters out there. But anyway, that there’s a concept behind these series that make them so powerful and relatable and make them so famous. And what is so relatable about the series is that it takes us through the very human journey that we all can relate to, of starting off in our lives with you know, with the crappy apartment and the crappy car and no job to finding our way. And at the end of these all these TV programs, you know, everyone’s got that dream job and they work so hard. We see the struggles but they got there in the end. And that is where we all hope to be right. Now. Let’s put that in context of our lives. Right? Where are you in your life because like I said, we all have have different stages, we all live in different places. And where are you on your journey? You can actually connect it to a TV series that you like as well. I don’t know what works for you. You know, I’m always making these weird connections between the things I watch on TV. That’s something that works for me. But yeah, where are you? What stage? Are you in your life? Are you maybe very self aware, very motivated, very on track? Are you still figuring things out? I use, you know, are you in an emotionally an emotional journey? Wherever you are, there’s no right or wrong place to be. That’s something that I want to stress, there’s no right or wrong place to be, wherever you are. That’s where you are. And recognizing that can be so helpful. And that’s something I want you guys to keep in mind throughout the season is where am I? What stage Am I in my life, because I’m going to be having so many different coaches Come on the season, and they’re going to be sharing their experiences, and they’re going to be sharing their advice and their ways of doing things. And one thing, I think that is really important for us as individuals to remember when we hear what other people are saying, or when we hear how successful someone has become, it’s just always take it back to where am i right now in my journey? And how can I connect this to my journey? Is this right for me right now. And just remember that we don’t need to feel bad about where we are, we just need to acknowledge it, and see what works for us right now. So I’m going to give you like, an example. I’m just gonna, like relate this back to myself, right? So emotionally, a lot of people say I’m like emotionally intelligent, which Yay, that sounds so cool. And I think I think I am Yeah, quite confident. I’ve been through the grind. I’ve done the work on my mental health. And trust me, I still am doing work. There’s other aspects of my mental health that needs focusing on. But yeah, realizing where I am in my life right now. So I might have been on my journey with mental health, right, I might have sorted out a lot of like social anxiety issues. And I’m very confident in myself, I’m very, very focused, and I’ve got big goals. And where I am in my journey right now is I keep saying this, but I’m in the learning phase. And hopefully, I feel like I’m going to be moving on to the growth phase very soon, you know, I feel like that’s going to happen very soon. But just recognizing where I am, it helps me to know what I can do right now. And what I can’t do right now. And so when I listen to stories about people who are where maybe where I want to be, I can relate that back to my journey by saying, Okay, this is where I am right now, this is what I can do right now. And maybe what this person is doing is something I can do when I get to that stage. So that’s what I want you to try and keep in mind throughout the season is just bring it back to yourself, relate it back to yourself in a way that works for you. Because I hate when we put pressure on ourselves to do things the way people tell us to. And I know, I know, that’s ironic that I’m telling you to do things a certain way, right? But I guess it’s just my message to you is just do what’s right for you. And don’t be like you’re pressured to do what people are telling you to do. You know, relate it to yourself, and take that and make it work for you. However it works for you. Or even you know, what, if you don’t want to do it, take that advice and chuck it in the button. And don’t just don’t do it. If it doesn’t feel right for you just don’t do it. That that’s all. Yeah. So, you know, in a nutshell, my long winded message to you is just do what’s right for you. And whatever advice is given on the show is not blanket advice that works for everyone. It’s just people talking from their own experiences, and from what works for them. And I’m sure that you guys know all of this already. I just wanted to reiterate it. As I know, there’s a lot of you know, it’s that time of year where everyone’s telling everyone what they do works with them, what brought them to their great places in life. And that’s fantastic. It’s great to share all of this. But we definitely have to keep remembering where we are personally and what works for us and Okay, I’m done with that. Sorry. It wasn’t rad, right? Sorry.

Amal  24:30 

staying focused and motivated in 2020 has been quite a challenge. I have to be honest. When everything happened with the pandemic, and I got laid off of work and my husband went to doing work at home full time. Everything was really stressful. We didn’t really know what was happening. We didn’t know how To navigate, we had just gotten married. So that was new. And it was, it was a lot to process at the beginning of the year. And being so overwhelmed and so uncertain about the future, I had no choice but to take one thing out of time, because I found myself. so stressed out, unable to think unable to enjoy, just the days at home with my husband, unable to just find joy in the day, I was so anxious all the time. And anxiety is, of course, I think something everybody has experienced this year. But one thing I was forced to do, because I really didn’t have any option is just to slow down and take one task at a time. That has helped me regain focus, and has helped me motivate, be motivated to do more things because I’m not so exhausted all the time, by my thoughts, and my anxiety and all these things that get in the way of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. So I think that taking one task at a time, has really helped me to stay focused and helped me to be motivated to do things. Of course, I’ve had to change my lifestyle completely. And I’m typically, or I have typically been the type of person to just go fast all the time, go fast through life, I travel, I love to work, I love to just be busy, busy, busy. And all of that has changed drastically. And being able to be in a calm environment and be stuck at home. I’ve been able to really appreciate a calming morning routine, being able to do gratitude practice and some yoga and just be still in the mornings. And I’ve learned that that is something that has been missing in my life. I get up and I go and then I miss out on just checking in with myself. So I think also, being able to just have that common morning routine has motivated me and made me more productive throughout the day. And now I drastically know that differences between the days that I do get up and do my stretches and gratitude practice and affirmations. And the days that I don’t do them, I’m less productive. So I think that that is something that has really helped me motivate this year. And some things that are keeping me moving forward are just, I guess, it’s a little poetic, because all the uncertainty has made me really come to terms with, we really don’t know what the future holds, we can plan but who, who knew that this year was going to be this way. And I don’t know what next year is going to hold. So I want to take advantage of what I can do now. And that that has really fueled me to move forward and really be

aware of what I’m doing, how I’m doing it and really gets me excited for just taking advantage of what I have now. And knowing that that’s that’s an attribute that I will be taking into the new year. As well as during this pandemic, my husband got a promotion and we moved to a whole new city in a whole new state. And that was quite an adventure. But the city that we moved to is much bigger than the one that we were in. And there’s a lot of culture and a lot of diversity. And that adventure awaits us. And that’s really exciting to know that when we find yet another normal after this pandemic, we have a lot of adventures to go on in our backyard. So I’m really excited for what the future holds and because we’ve been at home I’ve been able to go back to school, and study and, and really do well. And and I didn’t know that that was going to happen this year, it was not in my plans to go back to school. But after being laid off, I thought, well, this might be the time to do it. And I got into a community college to start. And then now I’m nearly finished with my undergrad goals and transferring to a major university. And I’m doing really well with that. And I’m really excited about that, because I really didn’t think that I was capable of maintaining a 4.0 average. And I have I’ve made, you know, the President’s list for two semesters in a row. And that’s mind blowing. That’s absolutely mind blowing to me. I was never one that was good in school growing up. And it’s like, I’ve really proved myself wrong in a lot of areas this year, with how much I’ve changed and grown. And another thing that has been accomplished is because of having to be inside and having to, you know, really be aware of the consequences of going out, we have chosen to do our part and staying at home as much as possible. And along with my morning routine, I’ve really become very self aware. And understanding that I have to focus on my mental health and my physical health and going to therapy and checking in with doctors and getting my health in order. That has been something that would never have happened had this year. Not had been as challenging as it as it has been. So a lot of good, has come out of the challenges. And I know that next year 2021 is going to be an adventure, although it’s uncertain, uncertain how it will go, I know that it’s gonna be really good. And I’m excited for what the future holds.

Hannah  32:45 

Yeah, so 2020 it was kind of like a year that was full of surprises, right. And personally, it was not my most traumatic year, you know, it did have an impact on me, definitely. And it definitely was an eye opener. And so many things happened this year, you know, we had the American American elections, we had a racial awakening, we had a worldwide pandemic, and all of this happening in one year. And we all loved it. We loved to tell the story. So congratulations to you for making it through 2020. We did it. And here we are.

Unknown Speaker  33:27 

And

Hannah  33:29 

yeah, it wasn’t the most traumatic year of my life. And I speak about this again, in my episode with Lee, where we both talk about how we had majorly more traumatic experiences in our own personal lives than 2020 was. So for us, 2020 was not really that traumatic, but it definitely was still an eye opener in its own way for us. And you’ll hear about that more on that episode. But again, my experience does not discount yours at all. So there were a few things that I experienced this year. And, you know, things I thought were going to happen and things that threw me a little. So, one thing I actually really wanted to talk to you guys about was I know I keep mentioning it in all my podcast episodes. And my husband and I we were trying to buy a house to sell right? We weren’t we were in a really good position to buy a house. Just before the pandemic we got our mortgage sorted out. We went through the cash really stressful process of buying a house and I know this is a first world problem trust me I get that. But nonetheless, it is a stressful deal or deal going through to buy a house It is so freakin competitive. It’s kind of like Hunger Games or house buying. You know, it’s it’s insane. So insane. But yeah, we went through the pote process. We we On a few houses, we didn’t get a couple of houses and and finally we landed on a house that we actually got the bid for. It was a gorgeous house. It was huge. It was actually advertised as a tortoise house. A TARDIS, you know, from Doctor Who. Yeah. And it was like a house that looked really tiny on the outside, but it was freakin huge. On the inside. It had a basement, attic room. And yeah, it had a big garden. It was just it was a really great house. It had two bathrooms, which checks my boxes. Really awesome home. And yeah, we were really excited about it. We maybe got put in over our heads and started buying furniture as well. I mean, we’re in the steel for almost 11 freakin months, you know, it just dragged on and the red flags they came up. And yeah, eventually we lost the freakin house. And it was it was heartbreaking really. It was really kind of like a grieving process in a way to to let go of that dream. But you know what, it also got me thinking about something. There was a time in my life, where I was living in a 10 by 10. meter house like, seriously 10 by 10 meters. It that’s not big. That was my house. And I loved it because it was mine. I was a tiny little house. And I was just thinking I lived in a 10 by 10 house, and I loved it. And right now I live in a spacious two bedroom flats with two bathrooms, okay, checks my boxes, I don’t know why I always need two bathrooms, but something that I enjoy having. And I don’t know, it just it just puts life in perspective that this is how far I’ve come, I’m in that position where I can buy a house. You know, I’m I’m so grateful to be here, coming from having lived in a tiny home and living on a salary that was barely livable back then, you know, I’ve just, I guess it kind of puts things in perspective for me a lot to just be able to see how grateful I am, how far I’ve come. And even though it was really annoying to go through the whole process. I was privileged enough and privileged enough to be in that position. And that’s amazing. Well, yeah, that was just one of the things in 2020. That threw me off a little bit. And yeah. So the last thing I want to say to you guys is that we might be entering 2021 with caution. And I think that’s probably wise. I would, I would like you to just think about how have you adjusted to 2020? You know? Like, we have to be our masks all the time? Well, not all the time. But you know what I mean? We have to wear masks and we go out we have to social distance from people, what tools have you used in your own personal life to get you through 2021? And how will you use these tools? In 2021? So sorry, it was how, what tools did you use in 2020? And how will you use these tools to enhance 2021.

So personally, for myself, some of my goals are very achievable in this kind of lockdown environment. And one or two of them might have to wait until I can be face to face with people. But in my personal life, I adjust and I carry on what do you do what works for you. So the most important thing for me is that I reached the end of the and that I look behind me, and I just see a huge, huge trail of self improvement and growth. And that for me, makes me feel like I’ve had a successful year. What matters to you at the end of your year? What’s the most important thing for you to grow into? Or what is the most important thing for you to see at the end of your year? So guys, I’m gonna leave you with that thought and that question. And next week, I have my first interview with coaches, they actually they called the coming out coaches, but they are coaches for everyone. Not just the LGBTQ community, but for everyone. And they had some really, really interesting insights to how they see life and how they see goal setting is just really fascinating to hear what they have to say. So I’m really, really excited to have them. Special thanks to my two guests who dropped in to tell us what they’ve learned in 2020 and what 2020 was like for them. I hope you found their stories relatable or find some value in their stories. And I’m going to leave you guys there. See you guys next time. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks so much for tuning in to another episode of refreshingly human with myself Hannah Pillow. It’s been great having you join me today. If you liked my content, please do share it with a friend who you think would find it interesting and subscribe to the show as well. I would love to have you listening into many episodes to come. You can find me on the socials. I’m on Facebook as refreshingly human and Instagram as Hannah Pillow. See you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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